WHAT A DIFFERENCE A DAY MAKES

My friend was teaching a class of four year olds the concept of a calendar. She patiently explained the days of the week, months, etc. In an effort to convey where the class was on that particular day she pointed to that date and said "where are we NOW?" A child raised his hand and said "Virginia!"

THE REAL JOB

I am a kindergarden teacher. One day a student asked me where I worked! I thought it was pretty cute.

APOLOGIES TO WILLIAM PENN

I teach eight grade History. Always, I remind the students that spelling does count. Despite this, during a unit on colonization, I can not begin to tell you how many settlers were seeking religous freedom in William Penn's colon!

DRUGS, anyone?

WE had rehearsed and rehearsed. My fourth grade son was to greet the parents when they came to school for a Thanksgiving luncheon. He was to welcome them and then say "Now please join me for a minute of silence and meditation." Unfortuantely, he said "Now please join me for a minute of silence and MEDICATION!."

COOPERATE!

I was teaching my first graders about cooperating. I noticed the confused expression on a little girls face and asked "Do you know what cooperate means?" She sighed and said "yeah, my uncle got cooperated on and he died from it.

HAIR RAISING PARENT

I had a parent that waw a real pain in my rear. She called me constantly at home and coddled her kid who was, not surprisisngly, annoying and superior. Anyway, one day she called me at home and began ranting about the "trash" I was teaching her kid in science. He had come home to report that I said that "hair is liquid." There was stunned silence when I informed her I had taught the class that "Air is fluid." For once, she didn't have a comeback. Felt pretty good, too.