YO MOMMA!

One morning I was checking Spelling homework from the night before. Each student had to write a sentence with each of the spelling words from the week. I was going around the classroom asking each student to read their sentence to the class. When I called on one student he politely asked if he could be the last student because it was "a really good sentence." I agreed that he could read the sentence last figuring that it was a great sentence, using context clues and the spelling words correctly. When I came to the last word on the list I called out "Jordan, please read your sentence with the word TON."

With a big smile on his face, proud at the use of his word, Jordan politely recited "Yo Momma weighs a TON!"

THE TRUTH ABOUT GEORGE WASHINGTON

We were learning about George Washington. I explained that not only had he chopped down his father's cherry tree but he also admitted it. "Alex, do you know why his father didn't punish him?" I asked. He thought for a minute and then said "Because George still had the ax in his hand."

BORING!

I asked the class "what do you call someone who keeps on talking to people who are no longer interested?" A girl raised her hand and said "a teacher?"

DO YOU HAVE ANY CLASSROOM KLASSICS?

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ltf

A SENTIMENTAL NOTE FOR THE BRIDE

One of our teachers was getting married. She was very popular with the first and second grade students and they wanted to do something for her. We decided to make a book, each page would have a letter of good wishes from the second graders. I wrote some words on the board like bridal, congratulations, gown, beautiful, happiness, etc. to get them started and told them to write from the heart.

One cute red headed boy put a lot of time into his, printing neatly and concentrating hard. When everyone was done he raised his hand to share his letter with the class. He started "Dear Ms. Brady, I hope you don't look like a big, fat idiot in your bridal gown.....The class burst into laughter and the boy burst into tears. I took him in the hall and started to chastise him for his unkind words for such a beloved and beautiful teacher and asked him whatever possessed him to write such a thing. Well, he sniffled, "My aunt got married last year and she looked like a big fat idiot in her dress. I didn't want Ms. Brady to look like an idiot like my aunt did."

FROM THE MOUTHS OF BABES

I had put on a few pounds during my month out of work with a broken leg. On my first day back to the second grade classroom I commented to the children "My you all look wonderful. I think you are all bigger!" One kid piped up with "YOU ARE, That,s for sure."

BOOGER JELLY BEANS

During lunch the third graders were discussing the Harry Potter candy with various nasty named flavors. One of the boys said, with great authority "Oh, the booger ones taste gross - they are booger flavored." Anaother boy piped up with "No, they don't taste like boogers - I KNOW WHAT A BOOGER TASTE LIKE!"