DO YOU HAVE ANY CLASSROOM CLASSICS?

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CAREFUL WHAT YOU ASK!

We were studying resources (human, natural, capital, etc.) in second grade. I was prompting the class to say human resource. They weren't getting it. I finally said "what am I?" A kid in the back muttered "an idiot?"

I JUST WANNA SEE THE BABY!

I was standing, talking to my very pregnant colleague at recess. Suddenly, a little kid, around first grade, darted over and stuck his head up her dress. "What are you doing?" She barked at him as she tugged her dress down. "I just wanna see the baby" he said.

IN THE HOLE

I was teaching a Sunday school class to six year olds. At the end of the class we were saying The Lords Prayer. My ears perked up when I heard a new boy say "and in the hole he goes." Afterwward, I quietly took him aside and asked him to repeat the words to me he said "and the father, and the son and in the hole he goes." When I gently corrected him to say "the holy ghost" he was indignant and told me I should read the bible.

YOUR MOMMY HAS A WHAT!!??

My second grade student proudly handed me his story to review. In it, he revealed that his Mom was mad at her pimp. Certain that he had just spelled a word incorrectly I pointed to it and said "What does that say?" He said P-I-M-P - Pimp!" I asked him if he knew what it meant. "Yeah", he responded with confidence, "It's short for a pimple and my Mom is mad that she has one on her face."

The Big Bang Theory

I was working one on one with a 5th grade boy. We were discussing the big bang theory within earshot of many other students and staff. "Ya want to know about the big bang, ask my Dad!" he said. (His Dad is a bookish, nerdy Phd. with whom I chat REGULARLY.) He continued "when he farts, it's the big bang and it's NASTY" Oh great. How am I supposed to keep a straight face the next time I see Dad.

TEACHER HAS WEAPONS

I work with a child who has obsessive compulsive disorder. I can usually see the funny side of situations, until today, that is. We were reading together and I asked him to look at my reference. He thought I said "weapons." I promptly corrected him but for the rest of the day he told everyone about the teachers WEAPONS! Agggghhh Lord give me patience.