DO AS I MEANT NOT AS I SAY

We had finished an art project in the classroom. One of the boys was fascinated with the one hole punch and there was little circles all over the floor. I said,"Freddy, get thosse circles on the floor for the janitor, please." A few minutes later I glanced over and noted Freddy cheerfully hole punching circles all over the floor. "What are you doing?" I shrieked, none too professionally. Poor Freddy looked up in astonishment and said "you told me to get those circles on the floor for the janitor!" I had indeed.

FIRST AID HURTS

This from Northern Virginia:

My friend teaches first aid and goes around to different schools and organizations. He had finished giving his talk and demonstration on defiblleraters and noticed an older teen in the back looking uncomfortable. He had told the class that all jewelery would be removed by the person administering first aid in order to avoid a certain burn from the device. The same girl sought him out after class and asked him to clarify about the jewelry. She tentatively asked "what about jewelry lower?" My friend, being a cool guy, read her mind and put her at ease "oh a belly button piercing? No problem, a paramedic would check for that and remove it too, besides it would be obvious if someone had to open your shirt to administer the defibllerater." "Uh," she stammered. "What about further south than my belly?"